Trust the process

 I have always been good at memorizing things or being able to pick up a topic faster. But these past years I haven't able to do it properly and it has mostly to do with self-confidence as well as self-esteem. I have been afraid to trust my own judgement and always ask other people to reconfirm them so I can go through the task in hand. But this can only go on for so much longer as there won't always be people around me to reconfirm my decisions and the people won't really have the context that I have to make the right decision so I need to really up my self-confidence. For me, confidence is like air in the tyre of bicycle, so if you don't have air inside the tyre then the rocky road i.e. life is really going to be tough ride for you. So I can't keep on going like this. I have to accept that my decisions on the most of the things which I am going to do for the first time will be bad or stupid so what get over it you aren't that special. Only then I will be able to progress ahead. I always try to avoid a lot of things but this is only going to hinder my progress. So as one my friend said it always seems more scarier to do the stuff then to actually go and do it. So the fear is mostly in the mind and boy does our mind exaggerates it. I have sort of witnessed it with my friends who have fear of heights and I wasn't sure at the time what they were afraid of but its really the mind that is exaggerating the stuff by lot and that's what is really making them fear. I have also experienced with few stuff myself like I don't know why but initially I was so afraid to touch the backend stuff and even though the task was pretty simple. My fear made it a lot bigger and I wasn't able to start doing the work properly but after I started doing the work. I thought to myself that hmm this wasn't that bad. Next thing that's been really troubling me is people thinking I am an idiot in some scenarios because I think a bit differently and comparing me with people and saying he has better sense of awareness about things and this really gets me. But I need to take a learning from here i.e. stop taking people' opinion seriously and only you know who you really are. Don't get manipulated by other people's words but really listen to it and find out what their true intentions are. Next up is event vs process. Nowadays I am mostly focusing on the events like a successful job or successful company but what I really need to do is focus more on the process and also take it step by step. Set an event as destination and then focus on the process. What can I really do everyday to get one step closer. That's really discipline comes in.